December 10, 2011

Dear Santa–Vol. 1

Dear Santa,

The leaves are fully off the trees and the crisp feel of winter is in the air. As we prepare for your annual visit it has come to my attention that we have omitted an important request from our collective letters. As the trees shed their coats for the year we have discovered that what we thought were relatively common Bradford Pear trees in our yard are actually trees of the Sportingus Goodus variety. In the spring they’re flush with gorgeous white blooms and in the summer they offer dense, deep green foliage that creates a lovely atmosphere in our yard. It’s not until fall, however, that they reveal their true beauty.

for perspective

As you can see the Sportingus Goodus species grows quite tall and its branches point straight up, with little horizontal reach. That leads us to our request.  It appears that the trees have fruit to offer that we cannot reach with any ladder or tool that we currently own. I’m wondering if it would be possible for you to include a low-altitude fly over on your way out of town to see if you can perhaps free the trees of the collected fruit.



This is but a sampling of nature’s bounty in these unique trees. I can, from my kitchen window, see additional treasures bringing the potential harvest total to two wickets, one soccer ball, one small blue football and one lacrosse net.  Should you find yourself too busy to actually help free these items, please drop off a very tall ladder. 

Best Regards,



Butch Henderson said...

Great satire! (:>)

Rosemary said...

Gosh, I hope that Santa will hear your plea! That is one "wicked" tree. Imagine, keeping toys from "little kids" who innocently mis-tossed them high in the air way too close to the grabbing branches of that vicious tree.

SStites said...

Hilarious! In Arizona, it is the flat roofed houses that gather this sort of treasure trove!