December 8, 2008

Santa, baby

Dear Santa,

Don't know if you've heard, but economic times are tough this year. Like many, our hard-earned savings is worth some disheartening fraction of what it was a year ago and the cost of many of life's necessities continues to rise. Take, for example, Nutrigrain bars. The bars keep getting smaller and the cost per box is up. We believe they might be the only foodstuff that stands between Andrew and rickets, so we continue to buy them and Flintstone's vitamins, too, which are also becoming more expensive by the day.

The point in sharing this depressing news with you is to explain why Mark and I have decided not to exchange any gifts this year. However, I have noticed in recent years that when Andrew writes you a letter he seems to have a good success rate in coming away with what he requested so I want you to know of a couple of items on my list that keep with the goal of a leaner holiday but would still be treasured. I'm guessing your resources are stretched this year as well so hopefully these ideas will come in handy.

1. Please find it in your heart to have someone steal our Jeep. If you want to give me a heads up, I'll even leave the keys in it. I really want to be a team player here and I'm thinking there might be someone else out there who could benefit from having it. You don't need to feel badly about arranging for a theft, because the person who takes it will get theirs in karma since the brakes don't work and all.

2. This one would be good for everyone involved. I'm hoping it might be possible for both me and Thomas to get a few consecutive, uninterrupted nights of sleep. Your role here could be to slip the neighbor's barking dog a little something-something, to bring the paper delivery man a new muffler for Christmas, and to help Thomas see the light regarding the use of blankets. It would take a fair amount of coordination but I hold out hope that it can be accomplished.

3. Bring the Sooners a national title. Andrew spent most of yesterday building his own Sooner Schooner using a foot-powered toddler car as the schooner, a small wagon as the horse trailer and a hoppity horse that's as old as me as the horse. He spent all of Saturday night waving his homemade OU flag during every one of the Sooners' many touchdowns. We don't know why he's such a fan but I think we've been successful in explaining to him that if the Jayhawks are out of it, we always cheer Big XII. He even understands that the one exception to that rule is if the only Big XII option is Missouri. Anyway, he's all for the Big XII South and the joy it would bring him for Sam Bradford to get some recognition would be so gratifying for all of us. Plus, if they lose...

4. I need a dose of patience. I'm not sure if this is something your elves bottle up there but if so, sign me up, please. RIGHT NOW. See? I seem to have less than the average bear to begin with and lately I think I use most of it up between 6:15 a.m. and 8:10 a.m. during our daily get-breakast-get-dressed-get-out-of-the-house-get-to-school routine. I seem to turn up short by noon and, as you know, that leaves a good portion of the day in a bad state. I'm trying to ration but have been thinking that if I had more to begin with it would be better all around. I'm sure my friends and family would agree.

5. If you have a device that will help me remember - ALWAYS - how sweet T's little voice is right now as he conquers new sounds, I'll take it. He's trying so hard.

6. Last, I would love for the baffle that goes in the light above the sink to magically become installed. I promise to leave extra cookies if you'll work on that while you're here.

Best regards,


Rosemary said...

I will hope that a Jeep thief comes in the night. Is it parked in an accessible spot? Is it facing toward the street? This might help. Gosh, I heard the same complaint about 2 year olds and covers in the night just today from a relative of yours. Hmmm. It's unfortunate that "lighting wall mount" and "to confuse or perplex" both define "baffle." Sounds like both are operative here. I did hear that you're getting "Mom of the Year" because you have an extended loving family that has nominated you so many times that there is no contest. Kudos to you!!!

Kimmer said...

On the patience are welcome to bring your clan to my house and we can find some liquid patience.

Maria said...

Dear Santa,
After you help Susan's Jeep get stolen, can you send them my way? Our Jeep is a 1989...
Oh and don't tell Eric! :)